The Rejection of Instrumentality
by I.Magickal.Sheridan
Summary: It was something that you knew could understand but something that would make you too holy to live or too insane to function.


Every human ever born dreams for something more, for some destiny that will set them apart from the rest of a race that is more or less completely identical. Small differences in genetic coding that separates the ethnicity of man are minor which is why humanity had endured, breeding with each other to create their ideal of a 'Perfect Man' without realizing what the drive behind that mentality was. It was always there lurking beneath the surface and because of that man created this ideal, what they believed to be perfect and named it God.

A God that was jealous and content, selfish and unselfish, cruel and loving, righteous and villainous all at the same time. A model of human behavior as their ancestors of humanity saw their true nature, but there was a difference between humans and this God they created for themselves, God was perfect in every way and as such God was able to adapt to the changes in the mindsets of the people while always remaining at the core of society.

God had the power to keep peace or make war, something that no one could overthrow or deem to be false and disprove. Maybe that was because God only talked to a select few and left faith up the rest of humanity, the copies of himself and his image that he placed within the world to rule over the lesser creatures that had come first. The only way to know for certain is to die and death is an absolute that no one can return from, one you are dead, truly dead there is no way to continue on in the same world as humans.

But there will always be those that would throw down God and place themselves as close to that position as was possible and because of that the world suffered. The first time, the Second Impact, had nearly destroyed humanity as it destroyed all the creatures that lived in the sea. It had killed half of the entire human population within a year. Forcing humanity to fuse with Adam, a creature that they had so foolishly believed to be the basis of life on Earth, was an oversight. They had been so convinced that Adam was the beginning of everything simply because they had found him first and because Adam had been male.

How easy is it to forget that life comes from woman? How easy it is to forget that the basis of modern Christianity was based on pagan religions and that the original prototype for God was not a God but a Goddess that created the world and her God to serve as her friend, her son, and her lover?

Those obscure thoughts seemed so clear now, everything in the world seemed so right now. All fears and doubts being erased from the heart and the mind, all hatred being abandoned now that there was a universal understanding, all of this possible because someone had awakened their Goddess.

And yet something was fundamentally wrong with this whole situation, it wasn't right in the way that horror movie monsters with a humanoid shape but with elongated limbs were wrong. It was wrong in the way that seeing someone missing a limb made you double check to see if you had yours. It was wrong in the way that the eyes of the newly dead were, wrong in the way that you could see life leave them. It wasn't something that you could put your finger on because your brain simply wouldn't process it.

It was something that you knew could understand but something that would make you too holy to live or too insane to function. But that was why death disturbed humans; it was the complete loss of self without a chance of recovering. It was a thought more frightening than death, after all death being something that religion had an answer too. Some place to envision beyond the unthinkable limit, either a paradise or oblivion depending on your actions during life, something that you could imagine because it was within your range of experience.

Death was something that was outside the minds of most humans, an inevitable fact that people pushed away unless they had seen the light leave. Had woken up in a cold sweat many a night watching that scene over and over and being unable to look away or scream.

But this felt perfect. This felt warm. This was what heaven must feel like, being united with everyone and yet… this was the nightmare experienced firsthand.

Like being moored in quick sand and being suffocated by the weight, completely unable to move. How easy it would be to just let go and fall into that place where everything felt right?

It was man's destiny to struggle, to exist as they did. Hardship and pain made it possible for man to appreciate those good things in their lives. After all existing was to be in a world of opposite, you couldn't live and be dead as you couldn't eat and at the same time starve. Without our flaws, without our fears we would be the same and our experiences would be identical. Humanity is a species defined by its differences and ruled by its fear.

This was unnatural and that most primal part of his soul fought against it with all of his might until something pulled taunt and snapped.

A cold settled into his body now, deep and aching, as a form made itself known in the darkness he'd been thrust into as he escaped. A voice and a memory drawing him back into that place of perfection, a place where he knew he could rest his weary body when it could no longer go on but he was young and strong still,_ "But I love you!"_

He watched the titan of light, the Goddess, begin to fade away and knew that she wasn't dead. As long as life existed on this planet she wouldn't die, just change shape and sleep. Brief flares of intense yellow light falling all around her like shooting stars that he knew must be others who felt the same way that he did. Others who sensed that wrongness and did not embrace it, the sheer number of those lights made him smile.

With shaking fingers he reached for the chain around his neck and held onto the pendant on its end with all the strength he was now regaining in his limbs. "I'll see you again real soon."


End file.
